The Regional Manager

How to beat The Regional Manager

• Arrives at 5:00 PM when the lights go out, and it is personal: everyone else is sent home, the desks around you are swept aside and he drops into a 20 m ring piloting the EXEC-MECH. Nobody leaves the ring until it is over, and it is a long fight: learn his tells.
• Every attack can be dodged on foot. Your roll is a bail-out, not the answer. Each one chips about a sixth of your health, so it is the mistakes that add up.
• Quarterly Projections: the shoulder panels swing open and 10 rockets (14 once he is angry) rain on red circles that fill for about 1.4 seconds. A few land where you stand; walk to the clear pocket a short run away. Each rocket leaves a burning crater for 4 seconds: stay out of them (the pocket is always clear, and his paper patterns put the fires out).
• Reply-All Missiles: the forearm launchers tilt up and fire 4 missiles (6 once he is angry), a pair at a time. Each seeks you, slower than you run, then locks on where you are and flies straight along its red aim line. Keep moving and they fly past.
• Performance Review: the chest lens charges while a red wedge shows the laser's sweep. The beam turns slower than you can run where he fights you: run ahead of it, or get in close.
• Restructuring: he leaps onto the spot under you. An orange ring shows how far the shockwave will reach (8.5 m): be outside it when he lands, or stand in one of its two lanes.
• Shredder Sweep: he steps in and raises his arms while a cone fills in front of him. Back away or get to his side.
• Staple Gatling: the guns spin up, then a stream of staples follows you, turning slower than you can circle him. Circle away from the stream.
• Escalation: red marks land where you stand, one after another. Keep moving and never stop in one.
• Memo Cascade: he raises his arms and fires 6 rings of memos in a row, each with a gap that moves on around him. A green wedge shows the next gap: start walking with it when it appears and keep going. Each memo only scratches, but they add up.
• Paper Storm: walls of paper sweep across the ring, each with a gap that steps to one side. A green strip shows the next gap: slide over and let the wall pass around you.
• He also charges along a red stripe, and calls a mandatory meeting of a few Workaholics now and then, so area weapons and experience still matter. At half health the mech melts down: it vents steam and takes 60% more damage for about 3 seconds, then he is enraged: now and then his barrage comes with memo rings whose gaps run through the safe pocket (stand in the pocket and shuffle with the gaps), and Escalation with a Memo Cascade (walk with the flow). From half health his Yes-Men jog in from the edge of the ring, 3 every 6 seconds, and his landings hurt them too. Below 35% he always layers them and throws other pairs too, but only ones you can dodge together.

Reading the attacks: bosses only attack while they're on your screen. Before a ring of memos, the boss flashes and raises both hands for about half a second, and every ring leaves an open lane (two in the big ones): find the gap instead of running. Boss shots fade out after 16 m.

Every boss drops a Supply Crate, a pizza and a ring of Gold Stars. From noon on, a boss can also drop a Golden Crate that forges a Legendary.